Monday, October 04, 2004

Jessica leest beter in het Nederlands

So Jessica Pivik is back after a week off (or maybe she wrote a column last week, but it was so horrid even The Reveille wouldn't publish it), and again I'm struggling to come up with a hook.

Her crap is so predictable, so uninteresting and so pointless, it's becoming a real chore to mock her in new ways.

So I'll just give you this week's column straight up, except that I used Babelfish to translate it to Dutch and then back to English. I think it's an improvement:
As two's one company, three's come a wish where.

I'm speaking concerning threesomes -- what the french small "m?nage trios." to call; But such as threesomes the dreams this way many of men and women could frequent, they donot can be already they're has burst who to its.

It's to deny rapidly that threesome -- and I mean each -- fantasie man's each are "My mom levied me on to zoeken because that two one, " treats; To hover Fournerat, a commercial policy senior, told me "I weet she concerning grocers but was a metaphor -- she's English teacher." spoke;

I'm trying on threesomes, but the best things hate appearance only to come in two. I've two eyes and two ears. LSU the national championship has won two times. This year, I became twee-gecentreerd large. And the ont*breken bewijstest -- this real world season's has two lively people.

See the pattern? Trust me, it's all in the numbers.

Motley blunt drummer tommy even complained Lee concerning threesomes in its autobiography, "Tommyland." In the book, Lee said he threesomes hate because someone is always left from. Of course, he offered an alternative -- foursomes.

Dr. Jane Greer, geslachtsdeskundige for illustrated magazine Redbook, wrote threesomes "jealousy, rivalry to that in a recent column, uncertainty and feeling of betrayal -- all things cause you to avoid." wants;

Also aforesaid Greer, "If you with definitely by going although, it could stimulate in the moment and to arouse, afterwards it can feel more as a loss for you then gain."

If you become happy and "the one" finds; prepare to fulfil fantasie your threesome, are there some gouden rules. Valerie Gibson, a line annalist for the sun of Toronto, wrote concerning a couple in its recent column.

Never bring a strange house to your little girl or boyfriend, aforesaid Gibson. It's too dangerous. Try in place of it a friend or find a friend of a friend.

She also puts for the permitting two threesome spend participants who same the line is time with each other firstly meet and. This can help them avoid suddenly scrupulously.

Given always more attention to your usual partner, aforesaid Gibson -- especially as you're people.

Finally she puts planning for becoming involved ahead and only as everyone prepared from the beginning is try it.

As an one partner uncomfortable, Dr. Patti briton barrel, sexologist, says a couple things is is those -- "Watch x-geschatte there video's can together help, line books to read and manners discovers which for both of you comfortable its your line life." creatively to improve;

And of course, the captain looks, before you go the fluctuating boat with Mary Ann and gember, you on an overcoat put.

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