Monday, June 21, 2004


Not being the most sentimental of creatures, I let the one-year anniversary of The Wisdom go unremarked upon (June 10). Until now, that is.

Blogger tells me I've posted 286 items to The Wisdom, which gives me an average of .758 posts per day. I'm not sure if that's a lot or a little. I guess it depends on how much spare time a person has on his hands.

And in the spirit of the blog-a-versary, I've decided to hand out some awards. I believe I shall call them The Wizzies.

• Biggest traffic grabber: Caught in the Crossfire - I wrote this little bit about the Viacom / Dish Network PR war happening on my television one Sunday. And the next thing I knew, The Wisdom had become info central for the Viacom / Dish war. I think a couple of people who found their way here that week are still regular readers.

• Traffic workhorse: Tiger "Pride", indeed - My piece on LSU's recruiting whores ran July 7, 2003, and I still get visitors looking for the chicks whose photos I included. I don't see a lot of searches for Dustin and Daniel, though.

• Breaking news award: Why didn't I see this coming? - The Wisdom beat the working Atlanta media to the story of Georgia's new license plates by a full two weeks.

• Most insensitive anti-Jesus post: No doubt the toughest category to pick in The Wizzies. It could have gone to Pray for the Pope or God (doesn't) work in mysterious ways, but I think the winner has to be Thank you, Jesus, for keeping the Red Sox alive, which detailed the tough choices Mr. Christ had to make in helping Boston win in last year's playoffs.

• Most shameless use of hot-chick photos: ... and smart, too. I still like that Miss Oklahoma.

• Worst post not written in two minutes or less: Miss Georgia Prisons 2003 - This one was written back in the early days of The Wisdom and was just too obtuse and conceptual. Satire based on the actual photos and unusual body markings of female prisoners. The world just isn't ready for that.

• Most under-appreciated post: The final Pivik post - Come on, people. What's a better blog bit than the Cap'n writing Jessica Pivik's column for her after her run at The Reveille ended? I happen to think it's a damn-good piece, but it got no comments and apparently was a dud with Wisdom fans.

• Most-dead horse still being beaten: Cap'n Ken's one-man war against the U.S. Homeland "Security" apparatus.

• Visitor of the Year: It has to be my new French pal Pierre - who came to The Wisdom seeking a free Gmail account and loved it so much he now has a link to The Wisdom on his own (foreign-language) blog. Bienvenue, Pierre!

• Most-dominated Google search: It's got to be "Jessica Pivik", because The Wisdom out-ranked Jessica's own paper after my third or forth column on her. But a close second goes to "Megan Ashford". I don't know a Megan Ashford, and I've never written about anyone by that name. But I got a search hit for "f*cking megan ashford" and included that in my "Cap'n Ken answers your search questions" bit, and now I'm the No. 1 result for "Megan Ashford". Go figure.

And finally ....

• Post of the Year: The best eulogy ever - Topical, controversial, anti-Jesus and loaded with f-bombs, it's also a how-to for conducting Cap'n Ken's own funeral whenever that day arrives.


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