Thursday, May 13, 2004

This week's Pivik

Finals are going on down at LSU, and so The Reveille is done for the semester. Therefore, no Jessica Pivik column. In fact, we may have seen the last of "On Top".

But no worries. I figured Jessica would be busy with finals this week, so I wrote her column for her.
On Top

With Jessica Pivik (by Cap'n Ken)
May 13, 2004

Jessica!

"It's better to give than to receive."

Any girl who says that obviously isn't with the right man.

Come on, guys. I know it's a jungle down there, but with a little practice, your oral skills can rival those of Jessie Jackson.

If your gal can master the art of sword swallowing, the least you can do is learn how to make your way through her forest.

But a lot of girls tell me their men remain clueless when it comes to giving oral pleasure.

"Most of the time, I end up wondering what the hell he's doing down there," a friend told me. "But I give him an A for effort."

Some girls I talked to are just so happy to find a man willing to make frequent trips to the "Y", they don't dare criticize his cunnilingual skills.

"If I tell him he's not doing it right, I'm worried he will take it personally and just stop doing it," said a sophomore.

Most guys admitted that developing oral skills is not high on their agenda.

"I see it as part of the process," a guy responded. "If I need to go down on a girl to get laid, that's fine with me."

Historically, girls, your pleasure has always taken a backseat to his.

And Dr. Debbie Stoller of Yale University says while Bill and Monica helped bring the blow job into vogue, the same is not true of cunnilingus.

"The reciprocal act continues to be inappropriate breakfast banter; hell, there's not even a cute, colloquial name for it," she says. "The word 'cunnilingus' doesn't exactly roll off the tongue, if you get my drift."

So women are expected to give a good hummer, but men have no pressure to improve their technique.

But it's not like guys aren't interested in spending time south of the border.

A recent survey found that more men than women found cunnilingus to be "appealing."

"I want to make my girl happy," one guy said. "I take pride in all of my bedroom skills."
No, girls, I'm not giving you his phone number.

And for you girls who may be self-conscious and pull a willing man away, loosen up! He wants to do it!

As with any sexual activity, play it safe and avoid those STDs.

Whether your man is an oral pro or just a clumsy licker, the bottom line is that his face beats your hand any day.

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