Thursday, April 01, 2004

Hard to swallow

After writing my first piece on LSU journalism student Jessica Pivik's "On Top" column a few weeks ago, I thought about making it a regular feature. Her's is a weekly column, after all, and a lot of folks are finding their way to the Wisdom searching for Pivik.

Problem is, her stuff is flat-out boring. Last week she wrote about body and pubic hair; the week before the column was about sex-toy parties. Both pieces seemed like forced attempts to be "shocking".

This week, she tried to get back her shock value by writing about "spitting, swallowing and gargling."

But Jessica is so focused on playing herself off as a "shocking" Carrie Bradshaw wannabe, she still hasn't taken the time to learn how to write an entertaining column.

She quotes a couple of students' views on swallowing and fills the rest of the column up with Googled facts about semen (she must have a research class this semester). But because of the "shocking" subject matter, I guess we're supposed to see Jessica as a bold, important "writer."

Sure.

The best part of this column is a disclaimer inserted near the end, just after her line "Guys, try this diet and maybe she'll come back for seconds."
But, no matter what your preference is, it is possible for you to contract HIV and other STDs through oral sex.

So, play it safe.

Obviously, a Reveille editor (or more likely a J-school advisor) made her drop this health warning in to her celebration of semen.

A good writer would have taken the health warning and run with it. Is it really dangerous to swallow? Do LSU students practice safe sex except when it comes to hummers? Is that a problem?

When she was given that line, she could have turned it around and written a meaningful piece by tossing her pointless observations on swallowing and digging deeper into an actual issue.

But no. "Look at me! I'm shocking! How cute is that???" is Jessica's motivation.

And she's still not very good at it.

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