Monday, March 08, 2004

Three Times (as expensive) A Lady

Ever wonder what it takes for the marginally-attractive to maintain themselves as shallow Hollywood hangers-on?

Well, thanks to the nasty divorce of Lionel Richie and his wife Diane (a former "dancer") and The Smoking Gun, we have a great shopping list for would-be golddiggers looking to make the jump from "dancer" to "celebrity ex-wife."

Here's what it takes - according to Diane's own filings - for the soon-to-be former stepmother of Nicole to keep up her second-rate Demi Moore / Angie Harmon impersonation*:

Lionel (right) and Diane

• $3,000 per month on dermatology

• $600 (minimum) per month on hair

• $250 per month on nails

• $1,000 per month on laser hair removal

• $150 per month on electrolysis (I guess the laser can't get it all)

• $450 per month on facials

• $500 per month on personal trainer

• $600 per month on Pilates

• $600 per month on massages

• $600 per month on therapy (mental/emotional, no doubt)

• $10,000 - $15,000 per month (at least) on clothing, shoes and purses

• $5,000 per month on jewelry

• $500 - $1,000 per month on computer lessons

• $500 per month on alterations, dry cleaning and clothing repair.

In addition to these monthly expenses, Diane throws out that "I spend at least $20,000 a year on plastic surgery."

Then there's the $3,000 - $5,000 per month on entertainment and $35,000 - $45,000 per month for the household staff of 8.

Diane throws these figures around in her filing (along with such endearing statements as "I regularly shop at Neiman Marcus, Barneys, Fred Segal, Jimmy Choo, Gucci, Fendi and Dolce & Gabbana.") not to show off her fabulous lifestyle, but rather as a desperate attempt to hang on to it.

She's seeking, you see, at least $300,000 per month in support from Lionel. That, it seems, is the price at which you can buy one's pride.

* [editor's note: This photo above is by far the most attractive shot I could find of Diane Richie. Below is a more accurate representation of the payoff for all this expense]:


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