Sunday, March 14, 2004

Sex and The Campus

My old buddy Scott down in Baton Rouge sent me a link Friday to a piece in the Reveille, the LSU student newspaper. It was a column called "On Top" by a student writer named Jessica Pivik.

The lead of this particular column was "If diamonds are a girl's best friend, hand jobs are a close second."

I think I'm supposed to be offended by such crass material being published in my alma mater's student daily. But what really offends me is that the Reveille would green-light such a lame ripoff of Sex and The City.

"On Top" apparently made its debut this semester, and according to her staff bio, Jessica fancies herself to be some kind of relationship expert. In describing "On Top", Jessica writes "Guys, you will learn from me. Girls, you will relate to me."

Fair enough. I imagine most LSU students are still immature enough to either learn from (guys) or relate to (girls) a sophomoric "relationship" column. And maybe pointless references to oral sex ("Valentine's Day, it's the oral sex of holidays") and tortured cucumber analogies come across as clever sexual insight to LSU students.

But the five columns Jessica has written so far read less like Carrie Bradshaw than Terry Bradshaw. She's out to shock and create controversy, but she should spend more time listening to her professors and learning how to write.

I can forgive her because of her youth and inexperience. God knows I wrote some crap back in my LSU days (for the record, I was never a Reveille staffer). But even at 19 or 20, you should know the difference between a clever idea and a third-rate ripoff.


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