Friday, January 09, 2004

Somewhere, Mr. Whipple is crying

For thousands of years, humans have struggled with a burden that is uniquely ours in the animal kingdom - wiping our asses after defecation.

But, at long last, ass wiping has met its technological match in the Jasmin Washlet toilet seat from crapper-making powerhouse TOTO.

I don't know how long the Jasmin has been on the market, but it was featured in a "house of the future" at the Consumer Electronics Show in Las Vegas this week.

TOTO bills the Jasmin as "the ultimate in luxury."

My idea of "luxury", however, has more to do with expensive cars, fine linens and gourmet foods than an automatic ass-washing toilet seat.

This from TOTO's product brochure:
To help you create the ambiance of a spa in your own private retreat, TOTO has created the Jasmin Washlet ... that takes luxury, comfort and hygiene to a whole new level.

Pamper yourself with Jasmin's gentle aerated front and rear warm water cleansing feature. Activated by a convenient remote control, the Jasmin allows you to adjust the water temperature, water pressure and the direction of the gentle aerated system.

The massage feature uses a gentle cycling action that alternates between front and rear washing for unparalled comfort.

Follow cleansing with a touch of a button for a mild air dry that can be adjusted to three temperatures. All while you relax on an inviting heated seat that can also be adjusted to the warmth you prefer.
So it not only washes and dries your ass, but also "massages" it? I think that's illegal in Georgia.

All of this "luxury" comes with a $1,200 price tag as well.

For more information, or to find an ass-washing toilet dealer near you, visit TOTO's Jasmin page

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