Sunday, December 14, 2003

Cap'n Ken's Pecan Stand

I discovered a few weeks ago that one of the old, mature trees in our new front yard is a pecan tree. Not being an arborist, I only discovered this when I was out raking leaves and saw a bunch of pecans on the ground. Logic took over from there.

At first I tried to convince the wife that a pecan pie made from our own pecans would be a swell weekend project for her. But she showed little desire to shell pecans, and the pound of unshelled pecans left in our freezer by the former owner left little room for convincing.

So on the ground the pecans sat. A couple of Saturdays ago, a group of neighborhood kids found out about my tree and spent a half-hour stuffing pecans in their pockets. I even helped them by shaking some more loose for them. The way I see it, they're going to fall, and if I don't want to deal with them, it's best that they get picked up by somebody else. Plus I get Whitey Points by being nice to the indigenous children.

And then this afternoon we arrive home to find a scraggly bum digging through the leaves along the curb looking for pecans. Somehow that wasn't as cute as watching the little kids scramble for them.

Obviously used to picking up things left along the side of the road, the bum wisely stayed out of my yard (I hung out on the front porch to make sure, and the Big Brown Dog was on standby inside). It wasn't exactly a scene fit for a Chamber of Commerce brochure, but as long as bum dude stayed on public property, I wasn't going to hassle him.

He picked up probably 4 pounds of pecans and then moved on.

The best news is that he decided to stop by a couple of hours after my in-laws left following a weekend visit. The wife's father is already rather troubled by his daughter's 'hood life, and I figure if he's seen bum dude out there, he'd have packed a suitcase for the wife and brought her back to Tennessee.


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