Wednesday, September 10, 2003

Britney endorsement withdrawn

First off, let me say that I do not receive any compensation for my extensive list of endorsements appearing in the right rail of Cap'n Ken's (although I'd sure like to ... T.L., your sister should send me some jambalaya).

And among the products endorsed by the Cap'n until now was Britney Spears. Britney's a Louisiana girl (Kentwood, no less) and - in my estimation - is pretty damn cute. Not yet a woman? Come on. That's the ass and tits of a woman, friends.

[note to loyal readers: the above mention of "ass" and "tits" alongside Britney Spears is merely a ploy to get more search engine traffic to Cap'n Ken's.]

Anyhow, I decided sometime over the weekend, after watching parts of that horrible NFL kickoff concert thing (thank you once again, PVR), that Brit is officially over, and I now withdraw my endorsement.

At the risk of referencing one of the most over-referenced phrases of the 21st century, with the NFL thing and that ridiculous tongue swapping episode with Madonna on the MTV VMA awards, Britney has "jumped the shark".

Struggling to remain relevant in a pop music world that moves faster than white people in the Country Club of Louisiana when Master P buys another house for his crew there, Britney pulled out some weak-ass J. Lo routine for the NFL gig. It was bad, and I think the end of the line is near for young Britney.

I've been to Kentwood (the ex-wife's alcoholic father's second - of three [and counting] - wife was from there). For anybody from Kentwood to make anything of themselves, much less become a world-reknown multimillionaire pop princess, is quite an accomplishment.

So congrats on that, Britney. Enjoy your money, your homes, and see if you can create a career for your little sister.

And please hang on a while longer. If you stop being a "celebrity," I'll have to take you off my list of celebrity women I can screw without the wife getting pissed.


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